I've gone a little crazy and berserk

The pain has reached to the peak..
After the incident last night.
Why let me know?

The nightmare in the morning..
"I was driving into a parking lot, suddenly the lights are all off.. I don't know if I should exit. By the time I wanted to get out, there's no way out alr.. gates are down. And there's a person standing out there laughing at me.."

I forced myself to open my eyes, but I could still hear the laughing; so loud.
Its terrifying, heart was pumping fast.
I can't get back to sleep..
I texted you. No reply..
I should've know..

Even that night, I'm there sleeping next to you.. I shake you, I wasn't being bothered.

I can't believe I have love you that much..
It was a little scary..
Of how it has affected me..
The whole morning I was thinking if I should stop it already, should we continue with Genting or Melaka? I feel like going to see Master. Scariest part is, I start searching MAS for Taiwan tickets again.

Pain, feels like crying the whole day.
How could a person hurt another person like this?
And I can't help but to blame myself for going through the pain again and again..

I don't feel like eating..
I feel like puking..

Enough, Joyce Wong!
Delete it. Delete it. Delete it.

It has come to a point where I know the only thing I could do now is to love myself.
Let myself happy...