Sometimes I wonder why I have such a big heart

The anger has hold me strong, but when it was gone..pain come forth.

I know

You have given her everything you could..you talk to her like how you have treated me..
Breakfast, lunch, dinner..
Love and care..

I don't want to know the truth anymore..its painful. Yet, I know everything.
You affirmed with her that she is important..
You said you miss her..
Telling her wherever you go..
Waited for her msges..
And you felt hurt when she treated you cold..

You've totally forgotten bout my existence.

You forgot that I felt extremely hurt too when you treated me cold.
My heart tears apart when you turn your back on me after we had an argument.
I don't have a place in your heart anymore.

I have wondered, I cannot believe that you would turn so cold.

It is not you, and I chose to believe that it was me who have hurt you so deeply.

Because I trusted you.

Now only I know that it was because there is a replacement already.

所以你变得那么绝情

You compared between both of us.
And you felt that she is giving you more, I don't worth love your love anymore.
Our past does not matter.

And you lied..have I told you, you can't lie too?

You had sex with her more than once..after many times of kisses.
You took initiative too.
You are going after her.

Kevin Saw, you are the one who told me that "She is married leh.."
Oh my god!
How could you be so dumb?
Taken by a married lady?

"Don't eat and shit at the same place?"

Bull shit! You ate your own words.

“要做就不要让人懂？”

One can never hide if he has done it.

Hence why I would never do something that I will regret for life.

Hence why I know when to stop.

Some people don't feel a thing, but..

I know it will haunt me for life, for who I am.

Why can't you just tell me the truth, at the very beginning?

You dragged me down by doing what you deem fit as a boyfriend, without love and care.

I don't need a responsible boyfriend, that the heart doesn't belong to me.

If you have say it out then, you would know better even no one have gave you the answer or tell you what to do, you will still know what to do.
Because after you say it, be it anyone, you will be so ashamed of yourself.
My final advice for you:

Be brave and courageous to face the truth.

Accept what you have done, go through the pain.

Be stronger.

I should be angry.. but I choose not to hurt myself.
I'm just heartbroken.

Why only wait until you lose me then only you realize that she's actually a replacement of me?
That you actually love me the most..and that you fall for her because she's like me?

Sometimes I hate it that I know everything..my intuition is that strong.

God loves me so much that HE knows I deserve a better person.

I need somebody to pull me out of this..
Dear god, could you give me someone who deserve my love better..?

penned on 26th October 2013 6.53am