A letter for you..

BabyKev,

That night, you asked me "What makes you so different now?"
I told you I am ready for a change.

Why am I different now?
The difference is, previously everytime when we come to a junction, this is what went through my mind "I have not been doing it correctly, I have gotta treat him better, fairly". And this is how I am gonna do it........

The realization really kicks in late, seriously I did asked myself "Why only now?"
Now only I found that, I have been pushing myself so hard that I forget about LIFE. I am sad because I have not live life, pushing you too harsh because I have set an extremely high standards for myself. I am so afraid that if I pulled down the standards, then the dream would be gone. But not knowing that I am chasing so hard after life, not living it NOW, and also giving you much pressure.
It is taxing. It is extremely tiring.

I bet you were thinking that, If I change then its not me anymore. Just wanted to let you know, I am not changing for lesser but to a more comfortable and happy life. What is life for if I am not happy, and I am not enjoying? And if I wanted to enjoy life, I wanted to be with you. Yes, a dumb dumb has been clouded/blurred much that she has not been seeing things clearly.

Why Kevin Saw?
Because Kevin Saw know what is life, and Joyce Wong knows only how to chase after life.
Because Kevin Saw have got many principles in life that Joyce Wong often forget about.
Because Kevin Saw has taught many things to Joyce Wong but Joyce Wong couldn't take it and she is so hard-headed about her directions in life.
Because Kevin Saw emphasize on the quality of life on a deeper level and Joyce Wong sees it only from the surface.
Because people like Kevin Saw is rare species and hard to be found already.

Human being are like that, see things clearer when they lost it.
I am no better, but just to hope that it wasn't too late for us.

I understand now that, a year ago when you took a huge step to go into the business.
...because now that I myself gotta get into sales line, I have great great fear.
I understand now that, the first year is to build a strong base.
...because someone told me that insurance business you gotta give it a good two to three years to see the results.
I also could see that, you are really working hard.
...and I wanted to apologize, I am truly truly sorry; because I have not been playing the supporting role well.

I miss you.
I have been keep checking on whatsapp, just in case I miss your message.
Waited long for just any messages.

You and I both believe that "If two were meant to be together, then we were meant to be together no matter what; Force can't make it happen."
So if even after you sort out your thoughts and you still don't feel anything for me anymore, then I will have to take a deep breath and move on with life..

And I wish you all the best..

ALY
DarlinJ