I am not dumb but the things I did are stupid..
It took a person who really love me dearly to tolerate me at that level, those crazy little stuff I did.. being a sassy gf. All those guilt I have after doing, its like committing a crime. He willingly took in all nonsense I did, just because it is me. He could even call me to just let me lash out whatever I have.
Having the need and desire to say sorry to a person who seem didn't want it. And I know - all he wants is for me to love him back, to appreaciate him, and my happiness.
I am blaming him for all my unhappiness..
Yes, come on.. bash on me..
I know.. I know no one is responsible for our own happiness.
Yet, back to the root.
Sorry, not one possible root causes..
1. He isn't what I really wanna have..
2. We started off on a wrong patch of communication..
3. I am just not ready to love yet..
The "I don't know how to love anymore.." keep lingers in my mind.
Really?
I've gotta let off more weights in my heart..
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