分手100次

他妈真不该这时候看这样的戏码
分手的痛历历在目
痛彻心扉

"原来最糟糕的情况
不是你离开我的时候
而是我不懂得怎么再爱下去.."

是我不懂得爱
也害怕再爱

被撕裂了的心
不可能被缝补得不着痕迹

留在心口上的疤痕
是世界上最痛的伤疤

若说期待有那么一天
心不再痛
泪不再流
那是我太天真了

对不起 我曾经伤过你

我...
不会再勉强自己了~

I AM SORRY

I am not dumb but the things I did are stupid..

It took a person who really love me dearly to tolerate me at that level, those crazy little stuff I did.. being a sassy gf. All those guilt I have after doing, its like committing a crime. He willingly took in all nonsense I did, just because it is me. He could even call me to just let me lash out whatever I have.
Having the need and desire to say sorry to a person who seem didn't want it. And I know - all he wants is for me to love him back, to appreaciate him, and my happiness.

I am blaming him for all my unhappiness..
Yes, come on.. bash on me..
I know.. I know no one is responsible for our own happiness.

Yet, back to the root.
Sorry, not one possible root causes..
1. He isn't what I really wanna have..
2. We started off on a wrong patch of communication..
3. I am just not ready to love yet..

The "I don't know how to love anymore.." keep lingers in my mind.
Really?

I've gotta let off more weights in my heart..